To all the Mothers...

Today is my first Mothers Day. It's an arbitrary designation of a day to honor women who have made the wild decision to go and have a child, and presumably, raise them. Being a Mother requires strength, tenacity, great will, endless patience, a finely honed sense of humor, and a whole lot of open-heartedness (all of which you actively practice the remainder of your life). For some, being a mother is an acquired taste, and for others-that's all they ever wanted to be. Either way, Moms are special people who have to learn to make room in their world for cultivating another person, and certainly, strive to maintain selfhood all the while (this is more effort than one might think). To that end, I'd like to offer my thanks to all the Mothers that are, thankfully, in my life:

To My Mother: You forgave my sea of transgressions-like my calling you by your first name phase then picketing in protest of my punishment at age 4; running away under the table at age 5; finding God at 5 (he didn't seem to live at our house) and dramatically, tearfully demanding you get saved until you finally did at age 8; renouncing God after you were shot (and Grandpa died) at age 10; my miserable, miserable transition into 6th grade in a new city and new school; my insistence in playing saxophone, even though I am sure you could barely afford the payments, at age 11; the dark, dark days of adolescence (I am most sorry for them); and any worrying you might have done while I was exploring the far reach of me-ness (a lot of which was done in the dark, dark days of adolescence and the not-so-fabulous teen years).

I miss you. I know you love Gillian wherever you are... She has your nose. Thank you for creating a space for me to breathe and grow in, especially within the small safe space you had for yourself. I have yet to meet another woman on this planet with your unwavering strength. You were always selfless, quick-witted, funny, and you sang me nonsense songs (I now carry on the tradition). Thank you for working so unbelievably hard to give me this chance in life. I want you to know I have taken it, and your efforts were not squandered. It’s been almost 13 years now since you've gone on, but it never gets any easier...

To My Mother-in-law: Thank you for being my stand-in Mom. She picked you for me. You are a warm, wonderful person with a big heart. You taught me to show love, if I feel it. We weren't like that growing up, and it feels really good to show affection. You gave me a real family, and for that, I am eternally grateful. Thank you for unconditionally loving (even when you wanted to kill him) and molding the very committed, adoring person I call my husband, and loving Gillian so completely. They add the color and richness to my life.

To My Grandmother: Thank you for your joy, which you planted in me. Thank you for giving me your stories, which I will share with my daughter and granddaughter. I always admired your strength and ability to laugh through the bumps in life. I would love to have an ounce of your brightness in me, and your serenity (evidence of a life well lived).

To Adee and Grandmama: Ah, the Matriarchs! We all have much to learn from the two of you. Such southern charm and grace, spinning four generations. There is so much love surrounding each of you that all the orbiting children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren have brought your lives. We all should all build our families so well.

To Mimi: I don't know how you managed-three boys. That is hard. And worse-they were really difficult boys. And you're still sane, and fit, and gorgeous. And the boys? In one piece on the other end. I am in awe of you.

To Martha: We have been through it, haven't we? And now, this new adventure. I don't think we ever imagined this being one of the ways we would be changing the world when we laid in the grass in Four Freedoms Park talking about the rest of our lives. I feel honored and blessed to have walked this journey with you. You are strong, and you are wonderful, and I love you. And you have a beautiful daughter that I can't wait to introduce to mine!

To Michelle: I have known you the longest. You always knew what you wanted, and you went and got it. I think you told me when we were 12 what your life was going to be like, and you never changed your vision or your resolve to get there. I admire you for that. I bet you never thought you would see me get married, much less have a child. Love and living it changes us, I suppose. Congratulations on you new little boy!

To Jen: We are becoming Mothers without the benefit of the wisdom of our own Mothers...and we are doing just fine. I am proud of you for all you are, and what you have made of yourself. Thank you for your friendship over the years. I look forward to watching us become in this new role!

To Bonnie: Congratulations! I can't wait to meet your girl!! It was great taking down big oil with you ;-) It has been my pleasure not only to work with you, but also to know you.

To Peggy: You have walked a hard road that I could never pretend to understand with your three angel babies; you are most certainly a Mother in every sense of the word. Thank you for your friendship and your endless nurturing over the past six years. I am definitely in good hands.

To Megan, Roxanne, Sarah, and Shayna (and respective bebes): My sisters. What a happy accident that we met! Gillian and I are so grateful for all of you. Knowing you and having the privilege of witnessing the development of our children together is a truly lovely blessing. I hope for many more days spent sharing our life experiences as mothers and wives and women...

To Lara, Sherry, and Cindy: Even though your little ones are still within, you are, officially, Mothers. This is a beautiful journey (and exhausting), but well worth every moment. The best to you all for healthy pregnancies and healthy deliveries, and finding joy in your children every day.

To my many sisters that are future Mothers: I love you and can't wait to watch you walk this road. It changes you in the most interesting ways. You actualize the depths of your womanness, I guess, by creating, carrying, and giving life to another human being. You will never know such love and joy, or so much panic and worry. These things become you, somehow, even while they try you, carving soul-canyons for your joy.*

I will from here on out, get to be one of the people honored in a day that celebrates what it is to be a mother. I have joined the ranks, the sisterhood, the club of the ages. I am a tiny drop in the annals of the human experience of motherhood. How completely, utterly surreal. How absolutely fabulous.

*Gibran; On Joy and Sorrow