Gratitude

Yesterday I was sitting in music class with Adelaide, watching her twirl in the shower of bubbles and dance to the teacher's music and run joyfully around the room, her little curly ponytails bobbing with pristine innocence. I was struck by her purity, like lightening hit me. And I got teary, because parenting my Adelaide is probably the last time I will revel in the sweetness that is having a two year old. I just couldn't stop being grateful for this precious little girl God gave me.

This is my favorite age...because we can talk, and the abstract ways she is putting the universe together delights me and she is so simple and logical still in her thinking. She isn't manipulative, or conniving, or consciously selfish. She is pure emotion. Those days for Gillian are long gone, and though I love love love her, I miss her 2 year old self that was so completely unfiltered by her own desires.

When Addie feels overcome with emotion, she throws her little arms around my neck and tells me she loves me. Lately, she's been throwing in "you're beautiful" after "I love you SO much" for good measure. If that doesn't humble a person... and her sweet little kisses with the "mmmmmmmmmmm-mwa!" are the best, even if those wet little kisses make me sick constantly. If she doesn't have a good word for something, she makes one up. Like Cecegon ("what's a cecegon?", "it's a cecegon!"). She loves the simplicity of things and appreciates kindness. She is completely wide open, the way we all should be. The way we all were before we got our hearts broken or were disappointed over and over again or realized that people can be unkind. If we could keep holding on to that sense that love underlies the whole world, and that loving people can make anything better-well, then it would be a perfect world. She's just closer to the source, and because of that she is infinitely wise. Ironic how we all spend our entire lives trying and preparing to get back where we started.