It has been 8 days since you turned 5, and this is the first moment of peace I have had to sit and consider what it means that another year has passed, another milestone rushed by.
I honestly can't imagine that you are this impossibly huge-big and loud, and flamboyant. I can't imagine that the tiny mewing babe that was ripped from my flesh so many days ago is a real person-with fully cooked thoughts, with her own consciousness, and ideas-beautiful, wonderful creative stories and images and scenery that I have the privilege to see through art and conversation, and worlds-all her own. How it humbles me that you are exploding into this plant, all alive and wild.
It humbles me to see you learning to love, and happy to be so generous and vibrant. It makes me proud that you decided to give away all your birthday toys, save two, to children at a shelter, without pause. It was sweet and sad to see your heart breaking at the idea that some children might not get presents even for their birthday without the kindness of others. I want you to care about other people walking this earth and realize your potential to better the paths of others, even in tiny ways.
At this moment, you are jealous and generous, laid back and temperamental, kind and selfish, loving and spiteful...you orbit, yin and yang, around the core of you. You are starting to realize your potential to teach your sister, to influence her world for better or for worse. How she adores you...how we all do. I love to watch you becoming a strong, self-assured, decisive girl. My baby is growing so fast. But like you said, you'll still be my baby when you're 5, or 10, or 50, or 100. I love you in a circle, angel girl.
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