For this moment, I am Gillian's Muse. She loves me...deeply, completely. My name was the first she wrote and committed to memory. She draw pictures of me every single day. The other day while I was at work the babysitter told me that G was pretending I was sick and that she was taking care of me in my bed. She brought me medicine, and food, and wiped my warm head with a cool washcloth. She told me Monday that she and "pretend you" had a picnic together.
You'll recall her fetish with "baby Mama" and feeding me with her "boobies". Somehow she perceived the sacrifice and satisfaction that being a mother is, and with all her tiny being, tries to mirror back that love to me. Now, I'm not saying it's always rainbows around here, but there sure is a lot of love.
It's all pretty humbling, really. To be the center of someone else's universe like that. I am already missing this when I think about the malcontent of adolescence and the wishing away parents that inevitably comes when you are finding yourself and making your own way in the world. For now, I will enjoy it as much as I can, fully conscious of the transient nature of these fleeting moments. I will tell you one thing-NO ONE will ever love her the way I love her. I cultivated her seed of light from the beginning. Somehow I think she knows that.
1 comments:
Right there with you in the "enjoying it while we can" thing. Every time Laurel goes through a cranky phase I worry that her sweet little loving self might finally be gone forever. So far it keeps coming back each time. Fingers crossed it lasts.....
Post a Comment