Le Petite Fleur

Irony. Addie has a hand-me-down floral onesie that, in tiny letters, on a tiny piece of material in the middle of the chest, says "Le Petite Fleur", the little flower. Oh, how I laugh to hear my little flower being so not a little flower, particularly when she's wearing that precious outfit. You see, Addie could quite possibly be the Gassiest Baby Who Ever Lived. She spends hours each day writhing in agony, legs pulled up, face red with effort, blood vessels bulging from her bald head, grunting these gutteral, gravelly, horrible grunts. The grunting sounds like I must have sounded in labor with her, or maybe the way a 250 lb man might sound making a monster poop. Sometimes she makes toots, sometimes toots with accompanying loud, blowout-style poops. Sometimes these relieve the discomfort, sometimes not. Mylecon and Gripe Water don't seem to do much, and my diet doesn't seem to make a difference thus far. I did note in a video of Gillian at the same age, that Gillian "made sounds like this [grunts] or cries" for 6 hours a night starting at 5pm, which makes me feel a little better. But Addie can grunt herself hoarse. Pobrecita!

Gillian calls her "the little tooter". Papa calls her "motorboat". Whatever the nickname, her efforts don't make her the posterchild for the Emily Post Institute, but I digress. MY little flower knows what she has to do to take care of business, and I am proud of that. I wish her little tummy didn't so obviously hurt with such frequency, but I think that is the lot of the newborn.

So, if you happen to be holding her when she contorts her precious face in pain, and graces you with a toot or a full scale blowout, don't say I didn't warn you. Addie is hard core. I remember several instances where Gillian had blowouts at inopportune moments which covered her or both of us in mustard poo, and I am not the only one. The poo gets everywhere, so runny-but-elastic and adherent it is. On my sleeve? How did THAT get there? On my elbow? How did that get there? On the back of her head? SHE REALLY NEEDS A BATH and How did THAT get there? Every day, a new wonder.

And I just noticed some Addie-induced tell-tale mustard stains on my shirt. Awesome. How does it escape these diapers?

*sigh* I forgot this delightful part of parenting a young baby.