Dr. Jekyll and Mr. (in our case Ms.) Hyde

I keep hoping this is a phase, and not what the Terrible Twos look like. My darling, precious girl, who happily (and independently) entertains herself and plays well with others all day long turns into a raging train wreck the minute I walk in the door from work (or 80% of the time on weekends when I'm with her, these days). This behavior started a couple of months ago and seems to be getting more intense lately, and I'm trying to figure out what it's all about. I can safely say that Gillian has always been strong willed, stubborn, and headstrong. These attributes are becoming caricatures of themselves, bigger and rounder and more bulbous as we enter this era of our experience together. And while I would never wish her to be a wallflower, it wouldn't be SO bad if she could tone it down a *little*.

I know what "they" say about attachment and separation anxiety with the mother, blah, blah, blah, and I've heard well meaning souls say things like "she only does it because she feels safe with you" and "she knows you won't love her any less if she throws tantrums". All I can say to that is "God, give me a break!". This is not a contrived thing. This is a fit of passion and absolute muleheadedness about not getting her way, nothing more and nothing less.

I can't cook, I can't do laundry, I can't make dinner, I can't do anything without her clinging to my legs screaming and crying, begging to be picked up. When we're engaged and playing or out together, she is wonderful and sweet (most of the time, anyway), but the moment my attention turns elsewhere, Ms. Hyde comes out. Obviously, the fact that I have always given her my undivided attention when I'm home has backfired. I never thought that would be a bad thing, but here we are. I should have forced this some by ignoring her a little bit, but then the guilt of depriving her of my loving attentiveness (when she already misses out on it 48 hours a week) sets in.

This has gotten to the point where I think some discipline is in order, and this morning she had her first time out (in her crib, for about a minute). I think we might have to give that a try more often, though I was hoping we wouldn't have to resort to it so soon. Time out was wildly unpopular, as you might imagine. But, the next time I asked her to do something and started counting to three, she did it.

So, we're entering uncharted territory. The Terrible Twos. But if I may have the audacity to beg The Powers That Be for three things, they are- PLEASE don't let recent wake up time (we're averaging 5:45 or 6 AM) be permanent, PLEASE let these molars come in very soon and give us all relief (today would be great), and PLEASE let this recent behavior be teething related!!!!

Ack. I am feeling very bipolar about where we're at. The great things are SO great, and the challenges are SO challenging.