How do I love thee?

When you say you love someone, what is it that you love? I have heard people say that it's theway they make you feel when you're with them. Obviously, while you do love you baby for that reason sometimes, oftentimes you also love your baby in spite of the way they make you feel. I consider my earlier thoughts on the matter, and still believe that the early "love" is instinctual, but love for your infant, in it's more common sense, grows slowly over time (like it does with anyone you love). I truly love Gillian more today than I did six months ago, or even a month ago. She is becoming a person...she is such a dear little person. So, besides the adoration I feel for something in miniature (in this instance, a human), this relationship is gaining more substance as we both become rooted in one another.

When I consider what it is I love about her, a few things come to mind: I love her face when she is sleeping, dreaming gossamer baby dreams, her sweepy feathery eyelashes just brushing her cheeks; I love her in her excitement for the everyday things that I have forgotten to be in awe of...that I have allowed to become mundane (I believe this is how children keep you young); I love her for her inherent sweetness and the tenderness she has for other people and animals; I love that she loves to laugh; I love her innocence; I love the way her little head smells; I love when she pulls me to her, by the ears, to give me a sloppy kiss on the nose; I love to watch her dance; I love that in all her frustration it is MY lap that she wants to climb into for comfort; I love the way she looks at me when she is nursing...I love that I could go on for days about the things that I love about her.

I don't mean to insinuate that everything is sunshine and roses all the time. The difficulties of raising her are there, and are mostly logistics and acclimating our relationship from lovers to one of lovers/parents. Those are no small tasks, friends. Make no mistake-parenting is difficult. However, the rewards are many. So many.

I leave you with an example of the random things she finds funny. This video is from a few weeks ago, when Gillian found the sound of our carpenter's nail gun utterly amusing(surprisingly not scary, as loud as it was). I learned to imitate it for her entertainment, of course....the carpenter? He was just confused.