Letting go

Last night at our Mutiny meeting (see previous post) we discussed what we hoped to get out of our experiment. It was pretty powerful and humbling to sit with such an incredibly diverse and interesting group of women.

One thing the book is driving home for me is the abundance/wealth we have compared to the rest of the world. Two interesting things the author says in the book that stayed with me:
1. If you make $35,000 a year, you are among the world's top 4% most wealthy; if you make $50,000 a year, you are among the top 1% most wealthy people IN THE WORLD.
2. Money does not increase happiness after income reaches $13,000 a year...at some point it's related to a decrease in happiness.

We discussed  at great length that our country creates a culture of inferiority and materialism that is so dishonest, and so greedy that it begs to be challenged. We discussed what we opine that we need. Most people said "cuter clothes", "nicer things", or the like. I thought long and hard about that study question and said "financial security". I explained my parental dynamic with money-dad worked, sometimes, mom killed herself working 80 hours a week at a convenience store and hid money from my dad so she could make sure the rent could get paid if he decided to quit his job (which he did often). I said to these Mutiny Sistas (that is what we are calling ourselves ;-): "I make a good income, and yet, it feels we are always just squeaking by. My question would be "what amount of money/savings/security is enough for me?!?" A followup is, "are there choices I can make that will make this concern go away?" So, I don't feel particularly attached to things, per se, but to security. That was a profound observation for me. Because I believe in the laws of attraction, if I FEEL and give thanks for great abundance, I will attract that. But abundance doesn't necessarily only mean money.

The Tao Te Ching says "chase after money and security, and your heart will never unclench". One of the readings from last night's discussion was from Matthew 19:

The Rich and the Kingdom of God
16 Just then a man came up to Jesus and asked, “Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?”
17 “Why do you ask me about what is good?” Jesus replied. “There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, keep the commandments.”
18 “Which ones?” he inquired.
Jesus replied, “‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony,
19 honor your father and mother,’ and ‘love your neighbor as yourself.”
20 “All these I have kept,” the young man said. “What do I still lack?”
21 Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
22 When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.
23 Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Truly I tell you, it is hard for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of heaven.
24 Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”

I think this cuts to the core of the issue-I don't necessarily think this is literally "rich people can't go to heaven" but that people who amass and value things above all else cannot possibly sit in communion with God/the universal everything. Their lives are cluttered with amassing wealth and possessions. So, Jesus told the man to LET THAT GO if he truly wants to be Godlike. He has to let go of the one thing that distracts him from being real, and present, and connected. For other people it would be other things (some people honestly don't care about money).

In Buddhism, suffering is equated with an attachment to things-whether those things be material possessions, expectations, ideals, people, etc. If you think about it, what makes you suffer? Wishing someone acted a different way, felt a different way, that you made more money, had a bigger house, that you had a new car...? What if we could wipe the lenses clear and just accept things as they are and not expect them to be any different? What a huge burden to put down-LETTING IT ALL GO. Then we're wide open to connect, to be charitable, to be loving and compassionate. There's nothing clouding our vision anymore.

My goal here, is to refocus on the abundance I already have. I told a very sweet story of us in mass last Sunday (ironically, as we talk of simplifying, the first Sunday of Lent). We went up to take communion (and for the girls to get blessings, which they *LOVE*), and went back to our pew to kneel and pray. Addie knelt obediently next to me ("wait, did you say YOUR child did anything obediently?", you ask-yes, why yes it was). I was praying, asking God to help us be patient with one another, kind, compassionate, gentle, gracious....then I asked that God help me focus on gratefulness...of the blessings and the abundance in my life. And at that very moment, Addie stood up and whispered in my ear, "Mama, I love you sooooooooo much" and hugged my neck and kissed my cheek. And then I was weepy, because how much clearer of a message does a person need than that? My abundance begins and ends with LOVE-of my family, my community; of others.

That made me grateful that I chose to invite all the friends that have been so kind to us, that have raised me up, listened to, and fed me and the girls in their own humble homes in the past few months, to our house to eat in community last weekend. That night I looked around and was struck by how vital these connections are...how important it is to return kindness with kindness. And wow, what a wonderful community we have. Abundance.