Wisdom from Doc

She's my curly headed baby

She's from sunny Tennessee

She's my curly headed baby

She's more than all the world to me

I have loved her since I met her (yes sir)

More than any tongue can tell

If she ever prove false-hearted

It would be so hard to say farewell

Now let me tell you 'bout some women (hmmhmm)

I can tell you how they'll do

They gonna be cryin' on your shoulder

And be flirting with another too

She's my curly headed baby

She's from sunny Tennessee

She's my curly headed baby

She's more than all the world to me

When I look into her blue eyes

There's more than words can ever say

I could never love some other

No one else can make me feel this way

She's my curly headed baby

She's from sunny Tennessee

She's my curly headed baby

She's more than all the world to me

Ballet Recital

Even though last year I noted the annual ballet recital was a complete scam, we did it again this year. I would say, aside from being distracted by hearing her sister crying at about 50 seconds until Sean took Addie out of the room, Gillian did MUCH better than last year.

Here she was before the show. She loved her "REAL" (read: stiff and unsquishable) tutu.

Without further adieu, here's Gillian's performance. Even though this is a 6 year old class, I think she does alright!

Addie made a break for it in the middle of the another performance and tried to climb the stairs onto the stage. I believe she might even be more of an extrovert than Gillian has ever been. But it won't be for attention like it is for Gillian. It will be because she can do it-"it" being anything.

Gillian's teacher, Lindsay, is great and Gillian loves her. And of course, she loved her bouquet. ♥

Gillian's Spring Concert

We will certainly have plenty of borderline embarrassing videos of Gillian performing for leverage in her adult life. But these really early ones are just cute!!

What we're doing to prevent Gillian's nightmares

Photo credit here

I mentioned in a previous post that Gillian has pretty wild nightmares these days. The child development gurus say that it's pretty common for kids at this age to freak themselves out in any mental state, conscious or unconscious because of their burgeoning imaginations. So, to help her frame of mind when she's going to sleep, I have been talking to her about our "dream dates" before bed. We let our imaginations run wild with all the awesome things we are going to do when we meet up in our dreams that night. Last night, for example, the last thing we discussed was our trip to the moon and the sun (this trip was all Gillian's idea). To get there, we would start by climbing up to the top of a tall tree then jump really high to the lowest cloud, then we would trampoline from cloud to cloud till we were in outer space. At that point, we would fill our bags with stars until it was sparkling and go to the moon for cookies and the sun for lemonade. On the way back, we slid down rainbows (making sure to collect those for Rainbow Juice) bounced on some more clouds, and then brought the stars and rainbows back in our rooms to decorate the ceiling and walls. This morning I asked her which part was her favorite. She said the decorating though "the rainbow slides and cloud jumping weren't bad". She also liked the picnic on the moon.

Since I have started this dream date planning, she hasn't come in here freaking out about nightmares. It's only been a week, but still. Hope it keeps working! Even if it doesn't, we are having a grand time with our grandiose storytelling.

Mother

Last Sunday someone sent me an Onion article about Mother's Day. The title is "Mom Brought to Tears by Thing Picked Up at Airport." It was so clearly written by a parent who understands how thankless a job parenting can be, and how acknowledgement of any kind can reduce you to a weepy blubbering mess...even if that acknowledgement comes in the form of a cheap knick knack bought on the fly at an airport. I find Gillian's little gifts so sweet and so special that I will probably eventually have to get the collection a place to live of its own (temperature controlled storage unit??). I can't bring myself to toss any of it, because every little drawing is so sweet to me. So, of course, the truly planned and executed birthday and mother's day drawings and gifts are exalted to the highest. Here is a "birthday card-book" I got a few weeks ago for my birthday:

 Front cover

 Us playing Princesses

 "Our family at Christmas with TONS of presents" (that last part is wishful thinking)

Us, as mermaids, at "Nonni and Grandaddy's Beach House". This is a pic of how she imagines our vacation coming in June to be when we meet up with Nonni and Grandaddy at Amelia Island. We are all excited to enjoy being with our family! 

Here is a sweet, laminated little keepsake that I got for Mother's Day that Gillian made at school. I love that my favorite flower is listed "dandelion". Well, it's a daffodil, but she got the "D" right!!

So, even though I'm not prone to hysterics, I did get choked up at both of these. Because I can't stop thinking about how incredibly blessed I am. I have these two magical little girls and a husband who is engaged and active and present. It really just doesn't get any better than this.

So, to all of you mamas who have the profound responsibility of raising another human being, and through that experience have moments that make you weepy with grateful tears- Cheers. I wouldn't change a thing about where I am at this moment in any kind of major way. These days, I pray for continued blessings of the variety we have. What a luxury-I take none of it for granted. And I pray for everyone who is not in that place to find the health, peace, and plenty to get there. Love and Love and Love..... ♥ ♥ ♥

An email from Auntie Darla

**Darla is one of Gillian's favorite people. Gillian and Darla do things alone together from time to time. Monday night they went to Whole Foods (aka "Baby Cart Store"). Darla always something to tell us about a tall tale or some other Gillyism she had the priviledge of experiencing during their date. She sent me an email as an afterthought yesterday that I wanted to share**

"I remember what else Gillian said to me.

When she delivered me flowers [she picked in the yard] & came inside [my house] she wanted to wait for me in the living room while I got shoes to come outside with her. Then while at Whole Foods she told me she had seen where my bedroom was. Obviously curious. When we got back and I was spending 2 minutes needed to throw things in the freezer & refrigerator, she insisted on waiting in the living room. I called her to go to your place and she came bounded in with news. She had seen my bedroom AND she pulled the covers up on my bed "like they're supposed to be."

I fully admitted to her that my house is very messy. She admonished me a bit. "Darla! why do you keep your house so messy?" She later told me that you and Sean and she all clean your house.

While we were driving she told me she had a booger and proudly displayed it on her finger. Then she said she was eating it. I told her that was pretty gross. Of course she found the whole thing to be hilarious. Eating of boogers must be something learned at school, right? I was really surprised when she claimed to be eating it. No idea whether or not it was true."

Alas. It is always amusing and sweet to see how Gillian is perceived by other adults and children. What can I say? I guess she eats her boogers because they are salty joy. I also guess she eats them because I don't nag her about it, because I have bigger proverbial fish to fry (though, for the record, I do tell her we use tissues on our noses around other people to be polite). Yes, I guess she learned that from boys at school, though I think many kids just figure it out all by themselves. I also think if you acknowledge annoying behaviors too aggressively, they will do things more to get a rise out of you. See? Mama the Therapist, in action.

Leaps and Bounds-Addie update

Nothing makes you realize your own mortality like parenthood-like, the days are flying, FLYING by. Even the months and years seem to be speeding up. Adelaide's development is on fastforward right now. Over the past month of so, it seems, she is relaying completely cooked thoughts. She is funny and charming. She likes to sing (but "baa-baa Babies" has given way to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Wheels on the bus, "If all the raindrops", etc.), and I completely understand what information she is trying to communicate to me. I also find her very silly. For example, she likes to say something like "Books, bottle, Num-Num (pacifier), NIGHT NIGHT!!!" (her bedtime routine) over and over again with various weird voices and cracks herself up. She still likes to play a monster and "attack" you with the "wah-wah-wah-wah!!!!" (I found an emasculated Disney Prince in his underwear with only boots and a monster mask on the bed just yesterday). She adores reading books at bedtime, and we average 8 per night (when we finally turn off the light, she will still demand "more BOOKS!"). She is very clever, and her rudimentary efforts to work it with Sean and I are sweet (but that can only grow in sophistication, so I am mentally preparing).

For example:
Addie, after dinner, finishing her Oreo, asked for "More chockett (chocolate) peees, Mama?!".
I answered: "No, Addie, all done with dessert, time for bath."
Addie gave me a dirty look, turned to Sean, and with a mischievous grin asked HIM:
"More, chockett, peees, Papa!?"
I thought this stuff started at a later age, like 8 or 10 or something. Not at not-yet-two.

She likes to challenge fate, like hanging on a bar over a 6 foot drop at the playground. When she does stuff like this, she'll say "Whoa, Mama! Look at me, Mama, Whoa!!!" (she is also fast, which is why I got disapproving, judgemental looks from other parents at the playground Saturday-but, 1) this is my second child and I find that I generally do not hover over my children every second; and 2) I was pushing Gillian on a swing 5 feet away, Jeez!!). Sean commented just yesterday that Addie will be our base-jumper (God help me). She really is fearless. She will go bounding up to any old massive dog giggling with delight when she gets doggy kisses all over her face. So, very brave, with very little sense of caution. Bad combination. Gillian, on the other hand, is exceedingly cautious.

Addie also endears me with things like "Oh, BOY mama!" if I give her something she really likes (food, a toy, crayons, etc.) and on her first bike ride with Sean yesterday (the initial whining at being strapped in the seat and having a helmet clicked on turned to "Oh BOYYYY PAPAAAA!" when they started to go). That initial sensation was her kind of adrenaline rush (kindof like when she wants you to push her on the swing REALLY high ("More, push!!!! MORE!!!") and then decides to see what happens if she stops holding on ("whoa Papa!")).

So, we are getting to know her more. I know that sounds weird, but Gillian's personality is so huge, there isn't much room to notice the more subtle mellowness that is Addie (who is happy to play by herself for hours while Gillian demands constant detailed attention and recognition for everything she says and does). I love how different they are-Gillian is my sensitive (albeit bossy) philosopher, Addie is my carefree daredevil (who rarely, if ever, does what she is told to do by her bossy sister!). Both types of personality are fascinating to watch develop.

All that said, Addie is no pushover. She loves to torment her dramatic, delicate flower of a big sister. Sean told me the other day, Gillian had made a monumental Lego castle. Addie cheekily came over, stealthy even, and took a big block from one of the walls. Commence Gillian's full on meltdown, crying fit (complete with tears) and Addie taking off down the hallway with the block, making sure to look back enough to enjoy the pain and suffering she was inflicting on her sister. Gillian ran after her and took the block back, and Addie slyly acted like she would play with something else, and did the entire thing over again. In fact, she and Addie have experienced an astronomical increase in bickering and fighting. But then we have these gilded moments where they snuggle and kiss and talk about how much they love each other. Yesterday I asked Gillian why she and Addie fight so much, and she simply said "well, I think it's because we always want the same things". I thought that was pretty insightful and gave me great relief, because it wasn't the usual "because I HATE her!" or "because she is MEAN!" I am happy to know she realizes it is circumstantial, and not some attribute of inherent awfulness in Addie's personality.

I have the nerve to believe that these girls will be very close one day, and be each other's support network through the trials and tribulations of life. As crazy and exhausting as they are, they don't seem like either of them will ever be anyone's doormat. I'll take that any day, and the difficulties we will inevitably face because of their willfull spiritedness, than docile girls crippled by crushing insecurity. It is probably the hardest dynamic I have had to balance as a parent-how to keep my girls in line while cultivating strength and independence (and not beating down that spirit).