The Lover

Our girl has a big heart. She is intense about her love, and takes it very seriously. Yesterday at church, she captivated an older boy. We sit in the "parents of young children" section, where she can roam the back of the church unfettered. There are pews withing 10 feet of this little area, and Gillian immediately scooted up to the back pew and started waiving at two little boys (maybe about 2 and 5 years old) sitting with their parents. She kept trying to stand up and touch the older one's hands, and after a while retrieved her ball from where we were camped out and offered it to him. His dad let him leave the pew to play with Gillian, and he would very gently toss the ball to her and fetch it when she threw it (what a great kid he is, really). Sitting close to him, she got THAT look after about 15 minutes of this...the look that says "right at this moment, I love you with all my tiny being" as she sat facing him. She leaned in for the kiss, and he let her kiss him, and then she wrapped her little arms around him for a hug. I don't know about anyone else, but I was very, very proud of her in that moment for 1) having allowed that depth of emotion within herself; and 2) not being afraid to express herself to That Which She Loves. They continued to play, we all went for communion, and then it was time to go. It felt like her new friend might cry when he came over to give her a hug goodbye (and what a sweet boy to do that-I could tell that it touched Gillian and made her happy that he loved her back). That whole exchange blew me away.

It just begs the question of whether or not we LEARN to love or whether it's inherent. I mean, she adores people, animals, and certain other inanimate things. I find myself wanting to be more like Gillian-she is wide open. Her love flows freely in and out. Her eyes are wide an innocent and give her away every time. When she gets intense, you can feel her little love energy coming at you full force, and it is powerful. She gets quiet. She looks you right in the eyes. She kisses you and/or hugs you and backs away, holding your gaze. She means it. Then the spell is broken and she's off chattering and playing and being a baby. But seriously, there are moments of Yogi-master-wise here-and-nowness that floors me. One of my resolutions this year is to break my heart wide open...to get back to that place. Ironic that the perfect example of mindfulness in my life is a 15 month old toddler.

An aside:

I had mentioned her love of my feet. This morning I videoed a foot love-fest. I can only assume she learned from me kissing her feet all the time. I don't think my feet have ever been so adored my whole life. And she doesn't love everyone's feet like she loves mine. Mine are special. For some reason.