Y'all-I'm tired. It has been an interesting couple of weeks. The girls have been testing us and eachother full throttle. I never fully appreciated how whining can make you a tiny bit crazy. Or how many times a kid can go to time out in one day.
We have entered the phase where for some periods of time the kids are constantly picking at eachother-deliberately taking the other one's stuff, only to gloat "I took your uuuuunicornnnnnnn!" so they can enjoy watching the full on melt-down drama that will ensue. Or Gillian blocking Addie from walking down the hallway. Or nagging eachother to eat their food. Or fighting over who gets to pick the show on TV. Or whether or not the sky is blue. Or they kick eachother or put their feet on eachother, or do something else that is otherwise imflammatory. I tried to impart to Gillian that there really is no point in arguing with Addie, but she can't help but continue to correct her when she says something that I usually just answer with "is that right, Addie?". Then a full out battle begins.
The misbehavin' spread to music class too. Gillian looks bored and uninterested in her group violin class. She even dropped her instrument one day because she was messing around. She wasn't paying attention when her teacher was talking, but would stare at other kids, or out the window, or at the carpet. In her private lessons she was talking like a baby, and when she was chastised, she would make this sound ("ehhhhhhhhh", breathlessly) that is driving me insane. If you knew her teacher, well, she has very little patience for that. She is good and strict, and that is the best fit for Gillian. Sean had been working with her and taking her to her lessons, but he said he was done after she dropped the violin. So, I had to think good and hard about how to turn this runaway train around. I pretty much know that positive reinforcement is a million times more effective than negative with Gillian (and probably with most kids). So, Sean and I both started working with her during practice-imagine the undivided attention of both parents at the same time!!! Her fantasy!!! (my job is to give encouragement and reward her for good work, his is to teach her bowing and finger placement, etc., since he plays violin). Each good pratice can earn her up to 5 tokens (we used tokens to reward doing chores without being asked, being nice to eachother, doing what they're asked without arguing, etc.; Each token=$.10 toward a treat or toy on Saturday), and 1 sticker for her sticker chart (see below). A good lesson earns her TWO stickers on her sticker chart ad up to 5 tokens. If she has a truly stellar private lesson, she gets ice cream afterward on a small private date with mama.
Guess what? Since we made the chart, she has had THREE out of THREE stellar private lessons (and just about every practice has earned her all the tokens possible since we started with the chart). She cannot wait to get to the end of her chart and choose a very special date to go somewhere fun with the whole family or just with Papa or just with me (smart girl-she immediately asked if we could go to Nonni and Grandaddy's, but I had to add the condition that it had to be in Chicago or nearby). We are still working on the group class, but at least she isn't laying on the floor or dropping things-she just still seems unengaged in class. She has TWO recitals the last two weekends of May, one of which she is playing solo with a pianist who is not her violin teacher. I am a wee bit concerned that her discomfort of playing in front of others or having attention put on her by strangers might be too much, but she could surprise me and be a total ham like I was as a performer. Plus, as her teacher said, she gets to wear a beautiful dress and have a party afterwards.
Now, if we could only move past this phase and have more peace at home. I'm not trying to say they never get along, because they really are sweet and loving to eachother a good bit of the time. I just think this phase is rough and my attempts to be consistent are exhausting. I am really curious to see how the dynamic changes when they're both in school next year and stay at aftercare every day. I think Gillian will turn into the lionness big sister like I have seen her do before. Like, that "I can pick on her but don't you even think about it for a second" kind of thing. Maybe that will help create a closeness that will push the petty bickering aside.
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